Women and worthiness is one of my hot button topics. I can get really “passionate” when it comes to any debate on this topic, ask any of my close friends. But I get passionate because it’s important to me and it’s important because I used to not be able to see my own worth. I didn’t believe that we can determine our own worth. I was looking to every other resource but myself.
Want to
know what made the light bulb come on above my head? A book I read called, The Shack by William P. Young. This book completely changed my view of myself, of God, and just about everything else. This book caused me to start to work on the spiritual part of myself
and it lead me to my undergraduate internship at a church working with porn and sex addictions counseling. This internship changed my life for multiple reasons— my supervisor was one of those rare gems of a person who motivated me to dig deep, and to get outside
my comfort zone. He was open minded, full of knowledge, good advice, and just the right amount of humor. And he taught me SO much more than I could have ever expected to get out of that experience.
The Shack
was just the first step that lead to a domino effect in my life. Once I accepted that I hold the power of my worth everything changed for me.
But it
wasn’t just accepting my power it was also a result of my effort to learn more about myself, to see where I was getting in my own way. I learned how I could feel even better by identifying all of the ways my own thinking and way of processing things was flawed.
For example, I learned that I am really bad about “predicting” what people are going to think or say and I almost
always was predicting negative outcomes. Which just isn’t realistic
and neither is thinking that I know how people are going to respond to me in every situation or circumstance. Changing
my thinking was a large part of what helped me become a healthier and
happier person.
I also
learned about boundaries and why they are important and necessary for life and relationships and for taking care of me! I learned the difference between a “safe” and an “unsafe” person and how to protect myself from toxic people who aren’t good for me.
But the
most important thing here is that my passion for helping women to see their value comes from an honest place of understanding what it’s like to not be able to see my own value. And it’s also why I think it’s so important for women who are feeling shitty about
themselves or doubting their worth, or if they can’t see it at all, or if they are just around people who constantly make them doubt who they are— to make the commitment to focus on themselves.
That’s why I created Unapologetically Me: Fearless & Flawed — which is a 12 week program focused on realizing your worth, building confidence, and understanding how your own thought processes are holding you back and causing you to fail. You can sign up by clicking here.
Each week
is focused on a different topic, for example, “self
defeating beliefs” is one topic I Cover where participants will learn
what self defeating beliefs are, and then will get a list of common self defeating beliefs to help them identify which self defeating beliefs they might have. Next, participants are given worksheets and exercises to help them change those beliefs to more realistic
and healthy beliefs. Lastly, participants are given questions to help them reflect on what they have learned.
In addition, participants will be added to a small, secret Facebook group to discuss progress, problems, successes, etc each week. Plus I will be doing once a week group calls through Zoom to provide more support throughout the program. If you prefer to not work in a group and would rather work one on one, that is also an option, but there is limited availability. So email me ASAP if you are interested at thesmartlioness@gmail.com
I know
that my course will help women because these exact tools helped me. I have always had a fear of public speaking, like a lot of people do. In college it took me three attempts at taking my public speaking class before I didn’t give up and drop it, because I
was so terrified to have to give speeches in front of the class!
Fast forward
several years, after I have done all of this work on myself (and continue to do), and I graduate from Graduate School with my masters in Clinical Mental Health. And then I find a job as a college psychology professor. I CANNOT tell you how nervous I was my
first day of class! It was bad! My whole first semester of teaching was pretty difficult for me, mainly because of my fears, and my anxiety! BUT! I kept going, I kept teaching & showing up and I kept getting better, and less nervous each time. I stayed positive,
and tried to be prepared, and I used the coping skills I learned in my personal development to keep myself from going insane or having a total meltdown!
Five years
later I’m still teaching psychology and I love my job! Every new semester that begins I still get a little nervous on the first day but as soon as I get into class and see how nervous the students are as well, it relaxes me and reminds me, Nobody is perfect
and who cares if I mess something up!
Now teaching
has really become a place where I’m able to be who I truly am, believe it or not. I’m not a strict teacher at all, I like to laugh, be my goofy self, and sometimes I even sing! Which I never thought I would be comfortable or confident enough to do in front
of anyone ever! But I’ve totally allowed myself to relax, let go, and whenever my inner critic starts up, I fight back!
I can’t express to you how important it is to work on you, that inner critic, and whatever it is that holds you back. If you don’t know what’s holding you back, what better reason do you have than to start trying to figure that out right now? You never know what that could mean for you. If I can face and conquer my fear of public speaking, You can overcome your fears too, and I can give you the tools to do that. Hell you could end up doing the one thing you were the most scared to do, and you could end up loving it!
Unapologetically Me: Fearless & Flawed gets started on June 3rd — Early Registration is open now!!
Feeling inspired and want to get to work now??
Do my free Dare to Roar Challenge to get a small taste of what to expect in June! Use this link to get started!
Blog post by The Smart Lioness:
Hillary Ivey Montijo, M.S.
Clinical Mental Health
Human Development and Family Studies, B.A.
Curious about who Hillary is? Learn more about one of my very best friends here.
Make sure you follow her on Instagram, too and check out her blog.
Oh AND join my ladies-only Facebook group if you haven’t already. Hillary hangs out there often. 😉
Sincerely, Saje
P.S.- Thanks Hillary! We love you!
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